Bollywood likes to stay on top of the trend game. Be it a natural calamity or a terrorist attack, the filmmakers have time and again gone a mile to "secure" movie titles for potential projects.
Remember when Bollywood's official body saw a generous spike in the registration of movie titles with keywords 'Balakot', 'Pulwama' or 'Abhinandan'? Or when Ram Gopal Varma faced flak for visiting the battered Taj Hotel in Mumbai in the wake of 26/11 attacks?
But guess what? "Corona Pyaar Hai" has already been registered - an obvious pun and twist to the new, deadly coronavirus (COVID-19) in town with Hrithik Roshan's 2000 blockbuster debut Kaho Na... Pyaar Hai, TOI reported.
Insensitive much? Probably not, given the moviemakers make an effort to educate the masses about the symptoms, preventive measures, and ways to deal with the new coronavirus threatening human life and businesses alike across the globe. Too ambitious? Probably yes.
So we have imagined some of the iconic desi movies and how the makers would have dealt with the coronavirus pandemic around them, completely ditching their original plots.
#1 Hum SARC SARC Hain
OG Plot: Ramkishan (Alok Nath) and Mamta (Reema Lagoo) along with their four children Vivek (Mohnish Behl), Prem (Salman Khan), Vinod (Saif Ali Khan), and Sangeeta (Neelam Kothari) is a happy, tightly-knit family but that bond is challenged due to several misunderstandings.
"We Stand United."
Who better to bring a large family together under a roof than Sooraj Barjatya himself? Throw in a dholak and the parivaar of 25 buas and foofas can jam indoors without breaking a sweat - thus avoiding contact with infected persons outside and curbing the disease. Just what the Italians did.
OG Plot: Shaurya (Rajkummar Rao) accidentally locks himself in a new apartment he just rented to accommodate his would-be wife.
Post Coronavirus: He isn't complaining.
#3 Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
OG Plot: A title as fitting as ZNMD, Zoya Akhtar was way ahead of her time. Arjun (Hrithik Roshan), Kabir (Abhay Deol), and Imran (Farhan Akhtar) plan a bachelor road trip to Spain.
Post Coronavirus: They cancel plans like the rest of us. The movie ends in under 30 minutes and we have a high-budget coronavirus health advisory mainstream short film.
#4 Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro
OG Plot: Photographer friends Vinod (Naseeruddin Shah) and Sudhir (Ravi Baswani) looking to start their own photo studio encounter dark secrets and murder and are on a mission to bring the bad guys down.
Post Coronavirus: Vinod and Sudhir are now established photographers in multi-million agencies but their HR head wants them to come to the office every day and upload their work.
#5 The Lunchbox
OG Plot: A delivery mixup of lunchbox by the dabbawalas in Mumbai brings two strangers Saajan Fernandes (Irrfan Khan) and young housewife Ila (Nimrat Kaur) together and their love story blossoms over "lunchbox" and handwritten notes.
Post Coronavirus: If your office isn't as flexible as your friend's and you're having a major FOMO, pack your lunch from home or get it delivered by your loved one as was the case with Saajan Fernandes. Avoid crowded places for your meals.
#6 Namastey London
OG Plot: Manmohan (Rishi Kapoor) flies his "British" daughter Jazz (Katrina Kaif) his village and gets her married to Arjun (Akshay Kumar), who she despises. Arjun takes a note of it and quietly wins her heart through the course of the movie.
Post Coronavirus: Coronavirus = no handshakes.
Among all things that have been negatively impacted by the coronavirus pandemic, contact-based ways of greetings are perhaps the worst hit. Arjun channels his inner bhartiya and educates his wife Jazz and her friends about the benefits of greeting people by simply folding hands. Namaste.
OG Plot: You already know the plot of Sholay. Don't you?
Post Coronavirus: Shook hands and already regretting? Fret not. Jai and Veeru are en route on their bike with hand wash to sanitize you.
OG Plot: Darr is about Kiran's (Juhi Chawla) story caught between Sunil's (Sunny Deol) love and Rahul's (SRK) obsession.
Post Coronavirus: Rahul (SRK) Kiran (Juhi Chawla) ke peeche haath dho ke pada hai. While she appreciates he's well sanitized, she realises he's still an obsessive stalker and needs to be kept away.
#9 Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
OG Plot: Rahul (SRK) loves Tina (Rani Mukherji) in their college days. Anjali (Kajol) loves Rahul. Tina dies, and years later Anjali (Rahul and Tina's daughter) attempts to reunite Rahul and Anjali upon learning about their story through letters penned down by Tina before her demise.
Post Coronavirus: "The most common symptoms of COVID-19 are fever, tiredness, and dry cough. Some patients may have aches and pains, nasal congestion, runny nose, sore throat or diarrhoea. These symptoms are usually mild and begin gradually. Some people become infected but don’t develop any symptoms and don't feel unwell." - World Health Organization.
Agar kuch kuch hota hai, Rahul, go get tested. Anjali can wait.
Just one thing that would be common in all these movies-- they would all maintain social distance.